omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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