I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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