We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
