I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
