If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Randomize
