If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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