There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Green mimosas i think yes
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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