The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize