Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have aggressive nipples.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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