He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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