my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
