No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize