i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
