Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
