At least make sure they are 18
Why
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
