So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
