i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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