So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
