I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
