If i come over, it means nothing
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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