i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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