I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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