Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
