great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize