so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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