Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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