It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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