in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
