I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
