Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
