I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize