why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
