if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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