i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
