hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
