He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
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