I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
