There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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