I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
