So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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