i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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