Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
