I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize