oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
