they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
