No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize