You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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