you have to choose: penises or morals?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
