mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
