Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
