her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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