Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
