I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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