it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Who died my cat blue again?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The ass gains better be worth it
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