dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
