Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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