problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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