from now on my penis is your penis
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
