I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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