.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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