so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
