I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
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stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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