I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
