scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
