man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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