apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
