apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
